| Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Leyana’s Disorder |
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| Cause: | influence of the Devil |
| Symptoms: | extreme reflective shots, going bump in the night, regurgitation, automatic writing |
| Cure: | Kryptonite |
| Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Mesyel’s Syndrome |
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| Cause: | smoking |
| Symptoms: | slightly enlarged liver and spleen, howling at the moon, whistling |
| Cure: | acupuncture |
| Doctor Unheimlich has diagnosed me with Mimi’s Syndrome |
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| Cause: | excessive Internet usage |
| Symptoms: | darkening of urine, red urine, hair tangling, vague terror |
| Cure: | drink five pints of beer every day before meals |