Sometimes, you have to admit that kids are too smart. They know just when to give you cute answers… so never ever argue with a child…
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘that’s Michael. He’s a doctor.” A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher.
She’s dead.”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.”
“Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary positions the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
A little fellow shouted, “Because your feet aren’t empty.”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.”
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all You want. God is watching the apples!”
A kindergarden teacher at age 30 was talking tothe children seated on the floor around her, absentmindedly she removed her glasses to clean them “wow, Miss Collins!” one child exclaimed. “You look really different without your glasses on !”
Another child piped up, “I bet she looks different when she takes her teeth out, too!”
A three year old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively asked the lady, “Is there a baby in your stomach?” she answered, “There sure is.” Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?” she said, “Oh, yes. it’s a real good baby.” With a look of shock, he asked, “Then why did you eat him?”
*lol*
Kids are sure funny…