After contemplating for a few minutes, I finally decided that I should go in. The keys worked, just as i have thought they would be, but the hinges of the door creaked so loud it startled the birds perched on the windowsill and they flew scattered, scared.. Oops.. sorry birds

It was dark inside. I walked slowly to the window and opened the curtain to let the sunshine in and OWH MY GOD!! The thick dust from the curtain swirled around it became a blinding mist and I choked, coughed and sneezed. When my sneezings stopped, I finally opened my eyes and realized.. there are cobwebs everywhere!

POOR MIMI’S BLOG!

POOR THEVOICEWITHIN.NET…

 Hehehe.. sorry people.. you must be wondering, what happened next? well, sorry to disappoint you.. I wasn’t realy talking about an abandoned house here.. I was just thinking that if my blog was a house, that’s how it would look like right now. thick dust and cobwebs everywhere..

I’ve been wanting to write a proper entry for quite some time, but everytime I began typing, I got distracted and the excitement to blog disappears just like that! I wanted to write more, but I guess I keep getting mental blocks these days..

Anywhoo… now that I’m here, let us clean them cobwebs as best as we can, shall we?

Now, the reason I’m here today is because I wanted to whine. I’m sorry this might annoy you but I’m allowed to whine in my blog, ok..

I’ve been having something weird on my right eye for a week now. It started on Monday. When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was that my right eyeball – yes, eyeball – is painful. It was still dark outside so I switched on the lights and realized that there’s definitely something on my right eye that’s blocking my view, although I didn’t feel anything foreign in it. Went to the mirror and tried to see if there’s any strands of hair or anything else but nope, there’s nothing there.. I rub it gently for a few time, still my view remains the same.

I thought, owh well, perhaps I slept on the wrong side of the pillow and accidentally put pressure on my right eye. don’t worry Mimi, come afternoon, your eyes will be perfectly normal again. Afternoon came and go but the “blocking thingamajiggy” stayed on. That evening, as I was driving home, traffic was slow as usual in front of the Federal House so I decided to “play” with my eyes. I closed the bad eye and my vision is perfect, but when I close my good eye, I saw a thin black cloud shrouding my vision. I could still see but it’s like the colors are off – it’s like they have a tinge of light gray or light brownish on them. It’s like I was looking out of a tinted windshield. That got me scared. I tried googling about painful eyeball and cloudy vision while I was on the road but nothing seems to ease my mind.

That night, I called my dad but he asked me to give it another day. If it’s not ok by the next day, he said I should see a doctor. Owh alright.. I’ll give it a day.. but the funny thing was, I ended up giving it a whole week!

*iklan : my hubby called and Selena Gomez’s Love You Like A Love Song Baby went on the air hehehe..*

So, this morning, since the kids spent the night at their grandparents, I asked my husband to take me to their panel doctor. I think the best way to deal with “unknown discomfort” is to visit a general practitioner first and see what’s their thoughts on the matter. After about 3 minutes – checked my throat, checked my lower eyelid, looked closely at my eyes, put a finger in front of me, pressed my eyebrow – he said he didn’t know what’s wrong.

Ooh.. I heard a loud gasp over there.. heheh… now before you say more, let me finish my story. He said, he couldn’t find anything wrong in general with my eyes. There are no infections whatsoever so he advised me to see an eye specialist. Since all specialists clinics are closed on Sunday, I went home feeling slightly more worried than before. Googled for eye clinics in kota kinabalu and a few came up on yellowpages, no proper website except for Optimax. I saw that they have Eye Problems section on their page so I read them. When I get to Glaucoma, it felt like I’ve hit a number on Bingo. No.. not Bingo yet, but a number on my Bingo card came up!

It says :

Glaucoma is a disease that characterized as permanent loss of vision as a result of damage to the optic nerve in the back of the eye, by an increase pressure of the fluid in the eye.

I thought to myself, this could be it! So I googled again for the symptoms… – life is so easy nowadays with google, kan? There are actually a few types of Glaucoma but I noticed that I have more “checks” with Angle-closure Glaucoma. The symptoms for this particular Glaucoma is :-

• Severe eye and head pain *check
• Hazy or blurred vision *check
• The appearance of rainbow-colored circles around bright lights
• Nausea *check or vomiting
• Sudden sight loss *check

Then, I clicked on Google Image and when I saw this image :-

Glaucoma. Photo courtesy of National Eye Institute, NIH

I was like “Yess!!!! That’s how my vision looks like!!” Another hit on my Bingo card!

Although, mine was slightly more on the right side and less on the left side.

So, I couldn’t wait. I’m going to make an eye appointment tomorrow. I hope I can get one as soon as possible!

Will update soon.. bye..

Heal what has been hurt,
change the fate’s design.
Save what has been lost,
bring back what once was mine,
what once was mine…

Day 11 – Mission Accomplished!

Here I am on my 7th Day Challenge. In today’s challenge, I’m supposed to post a picture of someone or something that has the biggest impact on me. Again, this challenge was a bit delayed because I’m not really sure what ‘something’ or who’s the ‘someone’ that ‘has the biggest impact on me’.

Now, before i carry on, I’d like to let you ppl know that I had an interesting day this morning. I saw something very inspiring, very uplifting and this indirectly had made me realize who are the ‘someone’ important in my life – those special ‘someone’ that have made a big impact on me [and hubby too, i believe].

These two are my special someone. I believe all mothers would agree with me that when our baby had first arrived in our lives, as ready as we may have thought we were back then, it still felt as if our world has been turned upside down, rotated 180°. I remembered there was this one time when I asked my hubby a few weeks after Ellone was born, “When will our lives be back to normal again?” to which hubby replied, “Honey, THIS is our normal lives now”.

Come to think of it, I have actually posted 20 things that change when you have a baby a few years ago. These sums up all the impacts they had on me

Ok, I guess Mission Accomplished again, but I’m not done yet

Now I’d like to share the ‘something inspirational’ i mentioned earlier.

This morning, we went to Public Bank for their Roadshow. There was a Coloring & Art&Craft Contest which Ellone took part and while the kids are doing the contest, the parents are introduced to their insurance product related to children’s education. In his intro, the speaker said something about us wanting the best for our children. He then showed a video, which is also available in youtube about a father who took his physically disabled son to compete in Ironman Triathlon, one of the toughest triathlons probably in the world!

Ok, maybe some of you had already seen this video but this was my 1st time watching it and it moved me so much it even brought tears to my eyes. Lucky the lights were dimmed

It shows just how much the father loves his son and he would do everything to fulfill his son’s wish – he wanted to give the best to his son and mind you, the dad is not young anymore owh..

I later found out that this father and son are Dick & Rick Hoyt and together, they are known as Team Hoyt. Rick was diagnosed as a spastic quadriplegic with cerebral palsy and he’s not able to walk or speak. A machine was built for Rick to help him to communicate and with the help of that machine, they learnt that Rick loves sports. Rick told his dad that he wishes to compete in a race and soon, they began taking parts in  races, marathons, duathlons and triathlons. Very very inspiring…

So, have you watched the clips yet?

Haley Reinhart is in the bottom three – again. That’s 2 in a row..

Naima Adedapo is in the bottom three.

Karen Rodriguez is in the bottom three as well.

America decided that Haley & Naima should stay another week. Karen sang for The Save, but the judges decided not to use it.

Good Bye, Karen Rodriguez…

I’m not procrastinating again, people… This particular challenge is HARD ok! not that I’ve been to so many places but I’m trying to select a picture that speaks a thousand words – that describes ME. It says, A PICTURE – that means, 1 only and I have quite a few shortlisted now.

So let me take my sweet time selecting / sorting out the pictures ya.. who knows, I might end up posting all of them

Til Then.. tata..

Day 5 Mission – Failed!

Yes, the wish is waaaaayyyyyy overdue!

BTW, do you realize? We’re are already in the middle of January! People… Betul bah?? It will be end of January soon and before you knew it, I would be writing Happy New Year 2012 already! So I’d better not procrastinate anymore.

Last year, TheVoiceWithin.net has been totally neglected. I apologize… it’s just that I’ve been living in a whirlwind lately – lately as in these past few years, not past few days or months k.. plus, I was in the “Darkest Moment” of my life bah kunun so I couldn’t find anything interesting or bright or cheerful to blog about. Everytime I made an attempt to write, I tend to complain about almost everything – it’s as if I’m angry to the whole universe. Every little thing ticks me and so, I decide to save my dearest friends from my “wrath” and chose not to blog. Maka, that’s why lah last year I only have 6 entries. SIX????!!! Ya, six.. pathetic!

But… but but but but but… listen. This year, as part of my 2011 resolutions kunun, I promise I’ll blog at least once a week, walaupun it’s only rubbish. And please forgive me if i sound drunk, I’m not. I don’t drink.

And so that I can fulfill my promise, I decided to join in the fun with the ladies – my good friends Rina & Laurah – and do the 30 Days Challenges! [it may become the 30 Weeks Challenges for me] If you’re interested to know what’s this all about, head on and click on the link. Sorry, I’m too lazy to write it down

Ok, I’m supposed to start on Day 1 challenge today, but I’m sleepy *yawn*… i guess i’ll have to do it tomorrow – or next week..

Toodles people… *YAWNNNNNNNN*

For the past few weeks, my daughter came home from school reciting some words & phrases that I soon learned as the 8 Nilai-nilai 1 Malaysia. Everyday, before she went to bed she’d say :

Keh taba’an (Ketabahan)
Keh setia’an (Kesetiaan)
Peh nerima’an (Penerimaan)
Pendidikan
In ter giti (Integriti)
Meh ri to ka si (Meritokrasi)
Rendah Hati
Budaya Kecil Melangan (???)

What??

What on earth is Budaya Kecil Melangan??

I kept asking her whether she’s sure the last one is Melangan and she confidently said “Yes”. and then she went on and on again.

Curious on what the word Melangan meant, I made an attempt to google it.. yes, i’m that pathetic. none of the result make sense to me. according to Mr. Google, Melangan is a proper noun, a name of some island in sarawak. i ‘ve never watched the news or read the paper so i had no idea that my daughter was actually reciting the 8 values of 1Malaysia.

Last Saturday, they had a Merdeka Day Celebration at their school and while waiting for the event to start, some slides related to Hari Kebangsaan were being displayed. It was then that I was finally enlightened, finally learned about the things that my 5-year-old daughter recited every night and finally learned that it was not Budaya Kecil Melangan; it’s Budaya Kecemerlangan!!

Doiii… apa la punya mommy… serves me right for being ignorant!

my head is already throbbing and i’m so tempted to hit the sack right away, but, i need to get this blogged right now, while the story is still fresh in my mind. right now, i’m having the same feeling i have felt when i first finished reading Twilight. owh.. i forgot to mention, i’ve just finished reading Hush Hush by Becca Fitzpatrick.

omg… i’m so damn sleepy right now my mind suddenly switches off! damnn!!!

well, need to cut this short. my mind is starting to play tricks on me. i’ll fall asleep on the keyboAEAR oops… couldn’t even type rigth! what i meant was, i’ll fall asleep on the keyboard if i don’t stop now..

great story… the beginning is a bit similar to twilight tho… but as the story progresses, i think i’ve found my new edward cullen *sigh* patch is my new edward… patch cipriano is my new edward cullen..

forgive me, i;m sleepu..

i bet Hush Hush the movie will be out real soon..

damn.. i really need to go to bed.. sorry for the crappy entry!

nite2 patch..

“Whiskey”,

“Beer”,

and

“Bring your girls its whatever tonight,
your man just left,
i’m the plumber tonight,
i’ll check your pipes, oh, you the healthy type.
Well, here goes some egg whites.
Now gimme that sweet,
that nasty that gushy stuff,
let me tell you what we gon do.
2, plus 2, i’m gon undress you.
Then we’re gonna go 3 and 3 you gon’ undress me.
Then we’re gon’ go 4 and 4, we gon’ freak some more, but first!”

“after party in the hotel lobby,
then we off to the room like vroom!
put them fingers in your mouth uh
open up your blouse and pull that g-string down south oooo!”

seriously!! I’m mad at whoever is in charge of the censorship thingy on Malaysian Radio!

Why do they have to spoil great songs like Lady Antabellum’s Need You Now just because of the word “whiskey” ??? there’s nothing wrong with “whiskey”!!

And I’m quite mad that one of Taylor Swift’s greatest song entitled “Change” didn’t even make it to Malaysian Radio. but then i know it’s because of the word “Hallelujah” in it and although it is only a word synonym to Thank God, i do understand that we still have to be considerate to some narrow minded people. So OK… i get that…

But can someone please tell me why does Pitbull’s Hotel Room Service made it to national radio without (if i’m not mistaken) any bleepon the obviously offensive lyrics?? I know the beat and melody sounds good, but does anyone ever paid attention to the lyrics??

it’s funny how one or two words (in a song) can be considered inappropriate, removed and thus spoiling a very good song. funny how only because of one word “Hallelujah”, Taylor Swift’s inspirational song is banned from national radio!

IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT IS OFFENSIVE AND WHAT’S NOT, THEN PITBULL’S HOTEL ROOM SERVICE SHOULD NOT BE PLAYED ON MALAYSIAN RADIO AT ALL!!!!

I’m not being narrow minded here and i don’t have anything against pitbull but i just don’t get it! why do they (whoever moron in charge) have to spoil a great song because of just one word when pitbull is allowed the whole nonsense!!

i’m the plumber tonight,
i’ll check your pipes, oh, you the healthy type.

He’s not talking about the real tukang paip, u know??

Well, here goes some egg whites.

Don’t tell me that he’s talking about chicken egg here!

Now gimme that sweet,
that nasty that gushy stuff,

Hellooooo… gushy stuff… not some kind of food OK!!

2, plus 2, i’m gon undress you.
Then we’re gonna go 3 and 3 you gon’ undress me.

So undressing each other on national radio is OK now is it??

open up your blouse and pull that g-string down south oooo!

wahhh… specific instruction some more…

So people in charge who ever you are!!!

what message are you trying to convey by allowing that song on the radio and spoiling Lady Antabellum’s Need You Now???

checking pipes, egg whites, gushy stuff and undressing are now better than whiskey or Thank God???

I Don’t Get It!

Btw, Hiya People!!! Long time no see